- Never allow young children to handle fireworks. This includes sparklers: they burn at 2,000 degrees, which is hot enough to melt some metals. (pro tip: if you wouldn’t let them drive your car, don’t give them explosive devices or something that can be used as a branding iron)
- Older children should use them only under close adult supervision (those adults should also be responsible and sober, so tell Uncle Frank to stop handing out Roman candles to the toddlers)
- Never use fireworks while impaired by drugs or alcohol (see the first entry)
- Never hold lighted fireworks in your hands (unless you want to be nicknamed “Stumpy” like Uncle Frank)
- Never light them indoors (have you seen the price of furniture lately?)
- Only use them away from people, houses and flammable material (actually, people and houses are technically flammable material, but are even more so when there is gasoline involved)
- Never point or throw fireworks at another person (nobody wins a bottle rocket war)
- Only light one device at a time and maintain a safe distance after lighting, and don’t try to re-light a dud (you can’t outrun an explosion, no matter how fast you think you are)
- Never ignite devices in a container (No, Uncle Frank, we do NOT want to see how many firecrackers you can fit in a five-gallon Home Depot bucket)
- Have some water nearby in case of a fire. Soak both spent and unused fireworks in water for a few hours before discarding (this is probably a good idea for Uncle Frank before you send him home, too)
- Never use illegal fireworks
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